“The Fairly Reasonable Bucket List of a Person with Little Reason,” by Tricia Psarreas Murray
- Buy a bucket
- Fill my bucket with tasks I must complete before I figuratively kick the bucket
- Try not to literally kick the bucket
- Fill my bucket with tasks I must complete before I figuratively kick the bucket
- Find a real everlasting gobstopper
- Put a tracking device on Waldo
- Convince insurance companies to offer 365 free apples with all health plans
- Void copays if an apple a day does not, in fact, keep the doctor away
- Spend a week speaking with nothing but clichés
- Teach an old dog new tricks
- Find the Fountain of Youth
- Fill it with green food coloring
- Convince the natives that it’s contaminated
- Fill it with green food coloring
- Reclaim all the socks my dryer has eaten
- Enforce the mandatory use of name tags at events where I’m likely to forget people’s names
- Open a restaurant with a separate seating area for vegetarians
- Hire a male maid to polish my bucket
- Refer to my maid as my man servant
- Have my man servant accept his title with pride
- Refer to my maid as my man servant
- Listen to WHAM! for 24 hours straight and see what happens
- Prove that when used correctly, procrastination is a superpower
- Bite a shark
- Invent a time machine and place it in a busy elevator
- Learn to play the maracas
- Train my neighbors to instinctively form a Conga line whenever I practice
- Make people who do not follow politics choose their political parties through a game of craps
- Rename bunt cakes huge donuts
- Write an internationally bestselling novel
- Learn more languages so I can recognize my own book
- Change the final round of American Idol to a game of rock, paper, scissors
- Cheer up conspiracy theorists by placing garden gnomes on their porches while they sleep
- Play Ouija without cheating
- Receive an honorary Ph.D. from Harvard on the merit of being wicked awesome
- Travel to Ireland
- Meet a short Irish man
- Call him my leprechaun
- Take his pot of gold
- Call him my leprechaun
- Meet a short Irish man
- Hide said pot of gold in my polished bucket
About the Author:
Tricia Psarreas Murray is a ghostwriter who has decided to burn her invisibility cloak after writing 23 books, hundreds of articles, and thousands of reviews for a myriad of visible clients. She specializes in fantasy, humor, and ridiculousness, three things you can always find at www.facebook.com/trish.p.
Image Credit: © kamenuka / Dollar Photo Club