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Vol. 3 Collector’s Edition Preview: “Happy Endings, Inc.” by Meeah Willaims

Another preview of The Conium Review Vol. 3 Collector’s Edition.  Meeah Williams’s flash fiction piece, “Happy Endings, Inc.,” involves a company that will sell you a genuine knight-in-shining-armor happy ending.

The booklet has nice hand-stitched binding, 65 lb. craft paper cover, a parchment title page, and a linen interior pages.

This micro-chap will go inside of the finished collector’s edition box along with seven other pieces.

The Collector’s Edition is currently available for pre-sale, along with the standard paperback.  We’ll post more previews prior to the official November 30th release date.

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Vol. 3 Pre-Orders on Sale Now!

Pre-orders for The Conium Review Volume 3 are on sale through early November or until supplies last. The current pre-order price is $10.00. Retail price will be $12.00 after release. Our last issue sold out early, so be sure to reserve your copy today.

The Conium Review Volume 3 features eight new stories from Olivia Ciacci, Tom Howard, D. V. Klenak, Jan LaPerle, Zach Powers, Christine Texeira, and Meeah Williams. In these strange and surreal stories, you’ll find a company that sells night-in-shining-armor-style happy endings, a boy with a second person trapped inside of him, and more. The pieces include fables, flash fiction, short stories, and novella-length fiction.

Vol. 3 Cover

The Volume 3 cover is completed.

This issue contains 120 pages of awesomeness, provided by seven authors.

Pre-orders go on sale this weekend.

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The Conium Review Vol. 3 Cover

“Family Programming,” by Meeah Williams

TV sketch

One night watching TV after dinner, Dad grips the arms of his easy chair during a cat food commercial and announces, “I know what you all want. You want me to play a role.” He stands up and pulls off the sweaty head he’s been wearing for the last twelve seasons. “But I’m not interested in playing that role anymore. What’s more, I never was. You’re typecasting me and I won’t stand for it a moment longer. Find some other sucker to play the bad guy in your melodrama. I’m out of here!” He tosses the empty head on the chair. We don’t recognize him anymore. He’s taller, blonder, younger looking; he looks like he belongs in a surfer movie. In fact, he’s wearing a pair of embarrassingly skimpy swimming trunks. He grabs his coat and car keys and leaves the house with a door slam and never comes back. There is no laugh-track, no applause. We sit there numb, staring at one another like faceless mannequins, our heads smooth plaster knobs. Then the test signal indicates the station is having technical difficulties. I’ll say! Please stand by.

Of course it’s a shock and a trauma but we have to go on. I try the head on first; it’s an absolute no-go. My brother gives it a fit—better, but no cigar. What could you expect? My mother grows bitter and disgusted before our eyes. She doesn’t need a fortune teller to read the future. She’ll have to find a real man now but she hasn’t the stomach for it. Instead she sits by the window, gray and blank as a TV screen with the power off, and waits for her Prince Charming, her knight-in-shining-armor to come. She’s too late. That show’s been canceled. The last episode already aired and she missed it. The Knight came and went and took Dad with him.

The wolf lived happily ever after.

About the Author:

Meeah Williams is a graphic artist and writer. She lives in Brooklyn, N.Y. with her husband, Hank.

Image Credit: © Kreatiw / Dollar Photo Club

Introducing the Vol. 3 authors