Carnival food
Elephant ear ferns
Characters from the book/film Matilda
Ghosts
Sharks
Clowns
Snakes
Heights
Train rides
7/11 roller grill food
Having a baby
Green beans
String beans (are these different?)
Robots taking over the world
Scooby Doo, anymore
The Beach Boys
A pair of pale green pants with nobody inside them
Getting fat
Stubbing my toe on the sidewalk outside an art gallery
Stephen King or his books
Embarrassment
Regret
Wanting
Being late for my bus and having to run after it
Paper cuts
Cockroaches
Bees/wasps/hornets/fire ants
A broken arm
Public speaking
Karaoke
Kittens
Dogs Toronto International Film Festival
Somebody loving me who isn’t supposed to love me
Getting drunk on a weeknight
Bridges
The Domino’s delivery man, anymore
The graveyard (cemetery? are these different?) on 21st Street
The bird lady
Sitting up all night with you when you find out—
About the Author
Hattie Jean Hayes is originally from a small town in Missouri. Now, she lives in New York, where she is a comedian and writer.